If you struggle with sexual issues of any kind; premature ejaculation or an inability to ‘finish’ for men, or trouble having an orgasm or a low libido for women, you know it can really have a deep impact on your life. If you’re in a committed relationship, sexual struggles can lead to other problems, and can break a sort of intimate connection you once had with your partner. If you’re single, or your sexual experiences are more casual, you may try to avoid having sex altogether because of your struggles. All in all, having any kind of problems in your sex life isn’t very fun for anyone.
Luckily, there are many different techniques and solutions out there that can help with these issues. Most, surprisingly, are quite simple, and cost-effective. One set of techniques that has grown increasingly popular over the past several years is the idea of tantric sex techniques.
What Is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex, or the practice of Tantra, has actually been around for over 6,000 years, originating from India. But, it has only recently grown in popularity in the United States. At the time of its formation, Tantra was considered to be the practice of sex against organized religion, which looked down on it.
Tantric sex is all about giving into natural desires, expanding your consciousness, and increasing sexual energy.
Instead of focusing on yourself and a goal to simply achieve orgasm, Tantra is all about focusing on being one with your sexual partner, and giving yourself completely to them, while receiving the same thing in return. It is the ultimate ‘letting go’ of inhibitions, of other thoughts at the time, and of trust.
Obviously, this practice may work better for couples who are experienced with each other, rather than a casual sexual encounter, but there are several Tantric techniques you can practice alone, or with your partner, to bring it in as a part of your sex life.
Where Do We Start?
Because Tantric sex is more about the journey than the destination, so to speak, it’s important to first discuss with your partner what you both enjoy. Your likes and dislikes in your sexual relationship, what gives you the most arousal, etc.
Having a better understanding of each other as sexual beings is really the first basic step of Tantra.
Secondly, it’s important to make time for each other, sexually.
With busy schedules that can seem to constantly get in the way, this can be easier said than done, but if you have a set time for each other, where you know you don’t have to focus on anything else in your life, you’re more likely to let yourself go completely into the moment, and give yourself more fully to your partner. Make things extra special during this time by setting the mood, or dressing in a way you know your partner will enjoy.
Begin your journey by simply looking into each other’s eyes, and breathing.
Try to slowly sync your breathing patterns as you face each other.
While this can seem awkward at first, over time, you’ll begin to notice not only how relaxed you are, but how connected you may feel to your partner. This is considered a ‘ritual’ in Tantric sex, and rituals are extremely important in Tantra.
Some people may go days, or weeks simply gazing into each other’s eyes for connection, before ever actually engaging in sex itself.
The next technique, and a step further, is to learn what your partner’s ultimate arousal consists of.
Take turns pleasuring each other, while looking into each other’s eyes.
Be vocal, and listen to your partner when they are vocal with what they enjoy, and why they enjoy it.
Tantric sex is all about pleasure without restraint, or embarrassment, so don’t be afraid to say what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. Once you both have gotten comfortable with this form of pleasuring each other, actually having sex can be another journey altogether.
There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ moves in Tantric sex, so long as you both are connected to each other, focused on each other, and aren’t afraid of anything in that particular moment. Don’t have a specific goal in mind, and don’t be afraid to take things slowly. If you do find yourself drifting back into old habits, try deep breathing exercises again by looking into each other’s eyes.
Practice Makes Perfect
Realistically, Tantric sex takes practice. It may sound somewhat instinctual, and even primal in nature, so you may think the techniques and overall basis of Tantra would come naturally. However, to most people, it doesn’t. We’re taught from an early age how sex is ‘supposed’ to be, and society continues to confirm a notion of sex that is hurried and frustrated, with one goal in mind.
Tantric sex is an entirely different experience with an entirely different goal in mind; to be completely connected to one another on a sexual journey. If you’re willing to open yourself up to these tantric techniques, not only can your sex life significantly improve, but you may feel closer to your partner in every other aspect of your relationship. Enjoy the journey!